My 12 Steps: Step 1
This article first appeared on Addiction.com. MY 12 STEPS: STEP 1 “We admitted we were powerless overalcohol – that our lives had becomeunmanageable” The first time I read step 1, I was sitting on a hard plastic chair in the dayroom of the detox unit at a New York City psychiatric hospital. The words were […]
‘No, I Didn’t Join A Cult When I Got Sober’
This article first appeared on Addiction.com. Shortly after I got sober, people in my life started saying they were worried — very worried — about me. Hands were wrung, questions were whispered, sidelong glances were leveled at me. What’s going on with Lisa? these looks seemed to say. What does she do at all those closed-door gatherings? Their trepidation for […]
‘C’mon, Do I Really Need a Higher Power?’
This article first appeared on Addiction.com. When I read Step Two of the 12 steps, ‘Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity,’ I let out a heavy sigh. We’re only at Step Two and they’re already hitting me with the God stuff? I thought. This whole 12-step thing might not be […]
Surprise! There Are Cool People at 12-Step Meetings
This article first appeared on Addiction.com. The first 12-step meeting I attended was in a church in midtown Manhattan. Of course it’s in a church, I thought. I knew next to nothing about 12-step programs, but I felt strongly that they were full of sad people with boring lives, hoping to feel better through some intense, God-focused […]
How to Get Over the Drinks That Got Away
This article first appeared on After Party Magazine. As I sat in my poolside lounge chair at a hotel in Miami recently, my travel buddy walked up from the beach to join me. She held a clear plastic cup with some sand stuck to it. Empty of liquid, the cup had mint leaves clinging to […]
Sober Anniversaries: Happy, But Tricky
This article first appeared on Addiction.com. Last month I picked up a shiny new coin at a 12-step meeting, acknowledging another year of sobriety. I hugged the sweet, bespectacled gentleman who presented it to me, while my friends around the room clapped and cheered. I sat back down in my chair, rolled the coin around […]
I Suck At Meditation
This article first appeared on Addiction.com. Throughout my 10 years in recovery I have never successfully meditated. I struggle with a distracted and overcrowded mind. So do most people I know. Meditation likely would be helpful, but it’s always been easier said than done for me – not that I haven’t tried. One night, years […]
The Trouble With ‘More’
This article first appeared on Addiction.com. I heard a lot in rehab about the risk of addiction transfer — trading one high for another. Once I stopped drinking and drugging, I was told, unless I addressed the underlying emotional issues that helped feed my addiction, even if I stayed sober, I might become compulsive about […]
A Drunk Dream is Harmless. Right?
This article first appeared on After Party Magazine. On a quiet Sunday morning a few weeks ago, my legs kicked out and my body sprang upright at about 5 am. I was soaked in sweat. No, I wasn’t breaking a fever. I was waking up from a “drunk dream.” This one had ended just as […]
Parlez-Vous 12-Step?
This article first appeared on Addiction.com. Paris in springtime. I think of cherry blossoms in the parks, café au lait at sidewalk cafés, strolls along the Champs-Elysées and 12-step meetings. Yes, 12-step meetings. None of my visits to Paris before getting sober conjured these images. Those trips were full of midday Champagne, flowing wine through […]